"So glad you came." Marc hugged me with wild eyes and flittered into the crowd. He left a metallic stain on my jacket like he had the Midas touch. Kim Davis, his neighbor, was my dance partner and we danced the swim swigging tequila. A drag queen grabbed the bottle and gulped down the better part of the last half. I almost punched her arm, but Shannon had great legs and we danced face to face. She could easily pass for a woman.
"Come with me."
I refused.
This was not a night to be with drags of fag hags. A gay boy in a loin cloth stuck a 'lude in my mouth. I chased it down with the last of the tequila. It had no effect and I said to Kim, "Let's go to CBGBs."
We took a taxi there and as soon as I entered the bar, the 'lude hit. I was barely able to stand and Kim planted me in a chair.
Damn, my generation does drugs and does them all the time; coke, heroin,MDA, downers, speed, anything we can get our hands on.
Kim handed me a beer.
Xcessive, Clay, Karen, and Greg were the only people I knew at CBs. I staggered from the bar. I stopped at a phone booth in Washington Square and phoned Ann.
"Can I come over?"
"I'm asleep."
"Say something to me." I was blown away by the emptiness of the evening. No one was on the street. It was 1 AM. I was glad not to be on a bridge. I have a problem with them in this condition.
"I love you."
"I love you too." I hung up soothed by her words and swore to get a real job. Ann might be pregnant. She would make a good wife, but my fears rose up; divorce, getting fired from work, get old.
Not a pretty story."
I made it to the SRO hotel and crashed and in my shabby room's worn bed without taking off my clothes.
TKO.
Transvestites are hard to recognize, especially one as beautiful as Shannon. She looks like a Vogue model. The first ones I met were at the Other Side in Boston. One named Gerry was gorgeous, but I'm not into them sexually and I once asked Gerry, if she had a penis.
"I'm proud to be a man."
LATER
This morning I called Ann at EST and a young girl told me, "She didn't come in today."
"Shit," I say to myself. "Where is she?"
I phoned her apartment and no one answered thought she might have gone to get an abortion.
I went outside and saw a handsome young man with two children on 5th Avenue. He wore his out-dated hat and his thread bare blazer with elegance and I imagined him to be a mirror of my future.
Ann is the only woman I want in a city of millions.
I'll call her at and ask if she wants to see COPS, a theater piece starring Willem. The blonde actor is a good man. I'm not. I don't fight fair. Just a bastard without a real room or phone or job.
My mother would hate to see me this morning.
Shattered.
No she wouldn't.
She loves me always.
LATER
Death house on a barren isle no one come here to turn around tricks a life's path ends As a last gasp the surrender of will to the final goal life's negative eternity the square root of all zeros death house, no one goes forever I come there senseless I leave the same way.
It's 7 PM.
I want to see Ann.
I've waited all day.
Sickened by love.
I'll call her now.
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